In the next couple weeks I'll be closing up the second draft of my WIP. I wish I could say I'm excited but honestly I'm getting a little wary. Not because the book didn't turn out the way I wanted (it did) but because these characters, this story, this world has had my rapt attention for the past 2 years and I'm scared.
I know what you're saying if it's good you shouldn't be worried. Yeah, I shouldn't. I think it's worlds better than anything I've put together. Everything seems to just click. I think it's good. (Debbie has yet to read it so I'm not entirely sure I'm not deluded) I think it can survive the criticism that will be leveled at it.
I'm still scared.
Scared that it'll get picked on, that it won't be good enough, that it will disappoint. And to some people, it will. No matter what I write some people will take issue with it. I don't have a huge fan base but I know what it's like out there. It's brutal.
And this is my art, a little piece of my life, my child.
You don't send your children out into the world thinking of all the wonderful times they'll have. You send them out against the voice in your head screaming that the world will chew them up and spit them back at your feet. It's the same feeling I get when I think of my daughter going to kindergarten. I can't help it.
But I've always lived with the mantra of fear should never be a hinderance, only a motivator.
So with that sentiment I'll be finishing this draft and putting it down for a month. Letting it simmer so to speak. Then once June ends and July begins I'll take out a fresh notebook, tear it apart, rebuild the pieces I think should be rebuilt and then hand it to the world.